Jessica-isms: The Pumpkin Patch Is Canceled (the hell it is bitch)

Drove half an hour out, and encountered this sign:

… but that didn’t stop me. (Also… I gotta say those little red dot teardrops are kind of cute)

Anyway… my trespassing ass crawled over that fence. If I wasn’t going to leave with a pumpkin, then I was going to sit on one. And then some.

I had some trouble jumping up…

So I grabbed a fuckin’ cinder block

… and I put that shit behind the pumpkin…

… and I climbed my bitch ass up

… and I had some trouble ok

but I kept trying

because I did not want to give up

and things were happening

and they were uncomfortable things

but they were things ok

and I finally made it, because of the not giving up

and then I was Queen

Queen Jessica Pumpkin

I just wanted everyone to see that last pic 3 times.

Ok so here we go.

Back to being Queen Jessica Pumpkin

I wanted to take things further

I was gaining even more confidence

… and even more

I just… why did I keep doing that with my face?

anyway… finally

I was really in my element

y’all canceled this patch but *this* patch isn’t canceled

if you know what I mean

and I hope you do not

regardless

So I kept going

I was like… let’s switch this shit up

but oh shit is someone looking

nope just cows

ok cool carry on

’bout to get freeky

… or spooky, if you will

fuck it I don’t care

you probably can’t tell but this *is* actually different shot

and there was much laughing

and more

take me Pumpkin King I am your Queen and things

and then I was like jesus my back

but then ok let’s make this pumpkin my bitch

holy shit it’s really getting hot now

just look at my arm

reaching up into the…. sky

I guess

Really not sure where I was going with this one

gonna grab my own ass hell yeah

I mean who else is going to grab it I’m alone

oh shit where’s my hand now bitch

getting ready for a super sexy picture now

I have failed

I don’t know why I’m like this, but I put the cinder block back when I was done

that’s all I guess

thanks for watching my transformation from Jessica to Queen Jessica Pumpkin

Love you.

<3